2learn-So basically, you are saying weigh the pros and cons of asking to see the cell phone bills? What would he have to lose if he was being honest and it could prove to me that he was not talking to her? I just don't know the answer to that one-he seems to be very sincere and I don't know wether to just accept what he tells me as truth (I'm having a very difficult time doing that), or ask to see them. If he has had contact with her I would have to know what I was going to do about it. If he has, I doubt very much he would let me see them. He would get probably get defensive. I did mention it once a long time ago and told him that I could see all the numbers he had called and who had called him. I don't think he even knew that. He just signs the checks to pay the bills at the office. He never offered to let me see them. I would think he would not want his secretary to know who he was talking to either because she knows her too. I'm not sure what to do. I just know to see them and not have her # be on there anywhere would be a relief for me. I am just not to the point where I can trust what he says even though I want to. He has changed his attitude towards me so that is an encouraging sign, but I don't know how you build trust after one has lied so long. Concrete proof would go a long way in helping-I'm just not sure how he would react. Maybe I could feel him out and ask him if there was some concrete proof he could give me to ensure he is telling the truth would he be willing to give it to me and see what he says. If he says yes, I could say that his cell bills could be a form of concrete proof to me. I don't want to take a step backwards,but it might be a real step foreward for me and us if he could do this. I'm mulling it over. Maybe I should bring it up in our next C session so it would not get heated. I know of no reason why it should though if he is being honest. Do you? Rachael M.
