Rachael, lovingly detaching is so often misunderstood in this forum.
It does NOT mean not loving, it does NOT mean not caring..it truly doesn't.
If you think of anyone close to you as a leg or an arm you are being codependant with them.You are not seeing them as separate.Imagine how suffocaating that might be for any loved one.
I lovingly detached from my son..who had many emotional problems.He was like a leg or an arm to me and...Rachael I was smothering him. The best gift I gave him was to lovingly detach.
Do I still love him?.Yes I adore him Does he love me? Yes Is he still in my life? Yes Is he happier? Absolutely Am I happier? you bet..and healthier.
It is so important to let those we love do for themselves..to be with their own thoughts..to deal with the consequences of their actions.
It means stepping back and allowing our loved ones to just be.
To lovingly detach is to not smother,to not try to make it better..it is to give space
That is what LOVINGLY detaching means.
It is a gift we give to those we love.
Well this is how I see it anyway.
I do lots of very loving things for my H.I show him every day that I care.
I am warm and compassionate with him but I give him lots of space..it's what he wants..before I never left him alone and he ran a mile from me.... into someone elses' arms.
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