Andy, I too could never lovingly detach. How could you lovingly detach a leg or an arm? Adrian too would see that as uncaring-the big one that started this whole mess. I think I have to learn to be separate from him, and be strong. Funny thing is he thinks of me as being strong, and I feel so very weak right now. His perception of me is what keeps me trying, the only thing is now I'm trying for me too. I have always loved that song "The Boxer". I'll never hear it the same again though. Rachael
