Things got better for a couple of weeks, he told me that he was the happiest he'd ever been and that things were going great.
Then last night, the bomb hit. We used to have raucous pool parties every year, and today he said that he wanted a tamer version in a couple of weeks. So he invited a big list of people ... including this one guy who got on my nerves the last time we had him over b/c he got cheese all over his hands, didn't wash them, and proceeded to leave cheese residue all over the house. I told DH that I had to clean the house after he left and I wasn't looking forward to it again. DH just said that we'd tell him to wash his hands. So I was talking about this, and I didn't realize I was pissing DH off and that he wanted me to stop. Before I left the room we even had a quick kiss. A few minutes later I heard the front door close, and his car was gone. He came back about an hour later, ANGRY. Said that he had asked me to stop talking about the guy and that I wouldn't shut up. He said that he deserved better than me, and that I wasn't going to change, and that this was a huge mistake. He's been locked in his office (where he sleeps sometimes when he's upset) all night long. Any time I tried to talk to him through the door and apologize, he yelled at me. This morning he was extremely quiet and left the house quickly without saying very much to me.
I just can't seem to make him happy. My mom's on vacation, but she's coming back in a couple of days because I called her crying tonight. She's usually pretty evenhanded about our problems, but she's so angry at DH for what he's saying to me. She says I don't deserve this, especially being pregnant. I don't know, all I know is that I'm miserable and scared ... and I love him so much and no matter what I do, I can never seem to make or keep him happy. I don't know what to do, I don't know that there's anything I can do. I'm positive that tomorrow will NOT make things better based on past experience ... he will probably want a divorce again just like he's said in the past.
I just want a normal family and to be able to be happy in a loving family ... I want my baby to grow up in a married home. And this is breaking my heart, and I don't know why this keeps happening ... I don't know what to do, I just want to curl up and die. I know tomorrow he's going to say he wants another divorce, and I'm not strong enough for this ... I don't know what to think or do. This is unreal to me.
This is supposed to be the most joyous time in my life (13w4d pregnant) and I'm completely miserable ...
