My DH is very needy (basically needing constant reassurance from me), but I accept that about him and am working with it. Things that are important to him are things that I now make a point to do on a daily basis: whether it be telling him how much I love him or snuggling.
I know he loves me: a big problem is all the bitterness he has stored up from our 10 years together. He feels like a very weak person, and that a stronger person would have stood up to me and left me. As a result, it's like I'm paying for it on a daily basis. For example, if I've learned that watching a movie together is important to him, then I do it and tell him "I know how much this means to you, and I love you so much and want you to feel loved and happy." His reaction is "Well why didn't you ever do this before?" and then telling me how hurt he used to be that I wouldn't want to spend time with him in the past. And then he'll say that the only reason I'm doing stuff that means a lot to him isn't because I love him: it's so he won't leave me.
How do I deal with that?!?!
We do have a lot of cycles to break, and we (well ... I) am trying to do that. And I'm trying to remain positive. But it's SO HARD ... and tonight he said that he's sleeping in the guest room and might look for a place of his own tomorrow. I just feel like nothing I can do will undo the bitterness inside of him, and I think he's hanging on to it b/c if he does that, then he feels strong ... and I'm almost 3 months pregnant and I love him and I cannot believe this is happening ... I just want to curl up into a little ball and just melt away.
