Well you've identified the problem which means your ahead of the game. Although it might not feel like it.
You obviously have a circular pattern going on which seems unbreakable but it is not. There is plenty of advice in DB to help you with this. Just remember that if you do not participate in the pattern then it cannot exist. In other words "do something different"
I might also reccommend "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" in addition to all of Michelle's wonderful stuff. It will help you understand why he reacts the way he does and give you a little empathy in the sitch. But Michelle's stuff will get you on the path of fixing it.
