hoping (Sue), you asked for more on the last 6 (now nearly 7) months. My H accused me of only changing out of desperation. He didn't think it would last, that people don't just change. Why is it that people can change for the worse but not the better? Hogwash. I think that now that this time has gone by he realizes that the changes ARE here to stay. During this terrible time (especially the first 3-4 months) I was an emotional wreck, could burst into tears driving down the interstate. I lost 20 lbs very quickly because my appetite was gone. (I liked that part of it!). I did the stuff you aren't supposed to do like you read in my post, I also printed out stuff from books to show him, he wasn't interested. He'd read it, but I could tell it didn't mean anything to him. He told me once that it would be a long time before it got better. Well I don't know what a long time is to him but it's better now and although 7 months would have seemed a long time in Feb. now that that time has gone by it wasn't so long to me.( Although the first month was very very long) He asked me recently if I was getting tired of hanging around waiting for him. he was asking me if I was about to leave HIM! I told him that 6 months ago he would have welcomed a comment like that from me, he said things are different now. I knew he wasn't totally detached, he wanted to be alright. Had himself convinced of it. I think that my moving out for 2 weeks before he asked me to come back gave him a taste of being a single father and he is a man who deep down longs to be in a relationship. I've become more of a girlfriend to him now, I had to dig deep to recall those days, but it's fun! We have fun together again. Simple things like going to get tires put on his truck are fun. He makes them fun, and I tell him that. I compliment him now, and am very supportive where I wasn't before. In the first few months of this I'd email him occasionally, sometimes I'd get no response from him. Then I'd decide to not email him anymore, and the next thing I knew there'd be an email from him asking me where my email was. Go figure. I think he was curious about that "greener grass" and was looking forward to finding out what that was like. I told him to go and find it, but he'd have to leave because if he didn't want to be M to me he'd have to leave. He never left. I don't think he decided to give us another try just because of his feelings for me, he didn't want to put our sons through a D and he also didn't want to upset his mother who is not well. But you know what, I'll take it, what ever the reasons because I viewed it as a second chance for me. And I also think that if he was as "done" as he told himself he was that he would have been outta here, kids or mother regardless. Lisa
