Take this time for YOU! Reread your thread. By rereading it you may find something meaningful that you didn't notice the first time. You are strong! You are a good person and a wonderful, caring father!
I agree with what qfire said, Happiness and peace comes from within.
I'll be at a conference the next couple of days. Not sure if I will have internet access or not. I will be thinking of you and hope you are feeling better by the timne you read this. It is a rough time, but I believe you can do this!