Help, i wanna kill myself

[I_Still_Love_Him]

Hey Spoon
I'm fairly new here too and wish I had joined back in January when my H left me. I begged, pleaded, checked his emails, called every day and guess what, it's been 6 months now and I am no closer to having him back. I am basically starting now what I should have done then. I had gone one week without contacting him and he started sending me emails but then I took that opportunity to contact him regularly again and eventually brought up the M discussion and it pushed him away again. I haven't spoken to him for 3 weeks now and I know how hard it is. I wanted to find any excuse to contact him yesterday and the wonderful people on this site have convinced me to use every strength in me to not contact him. If only I had stopped calling him 6 or even 5 months ago, we may have been at least talking by now but now I won't know if things could have been different. Please take everyone's advice, stop calling her and trying to talk her out of what she thinks she wants. Display only PMA especially if you are around the kids b/c she'll be wondering why you are happy and trust me at some point she will realize that she isn't. Be strong. Everyone has been where you are including me. I still have really bad days but each day I do feel a little stronger just by being here and getting support and encouragement from everyone.

Some encouragement for you. A friend of mine left her H last year saying it was the right thing to do and that she wasn't "IN" love with him. Just recently she approached him wanting to work on their marriage. Unfortunately for both of them, he is now in another relationship. There is hope but don't dwell on it. Work on being the strong person you are. No one likes a weak and clingy person. Take care.