It's another case of acting as-if. You hafta act as-if you expect something. You even hafta act disappointed. Even be disappointed when he doesn't live up to your expectations.
It hurts. I've tried to make myself "tough." But when you start expecting more, you're going back to those hurt feelings when your expectations aren't met.
Catch-22.
I've hopped back on the roller coaster. But things are a little different now. Because W is somehat less reactive (in a negative sense).
I still get knee-jerk reactions from her. I still get her trying to toughen me up. But I've been at this long enough that she can see how much I've changed. She won't mold me into someone I'm not, and she's starting to accept that. I also think she's starting to accept the fact that I accept her.
You and I have been at this for about the same amount of time, tree. We're within a month of being married on the same date.
I think that your H has had the same chance that my W has.
I started expecting to be invited out with her and her friends (which still mostly consists of MF), and now it's "normal" for her to do so. I don't expect to be there every time he's there. That would be too much.
I do my thing. W does her thing. I expect there to be some overlap, and there is.
I'm off work this week. Is W adapting her schedule to that fact? No. Was I expecting it? No. Is she trying to fit me in? Yes.
Because it's what I expect, and looking at it objectively, it's not unreasonable.
