Unfortunately you have to be patient! I hated it when other people told me that, but it is true. Work on your personal goals. You have no control over your wife; you can only control your own reaction to what she is doing.
Is there someone that can help advise you on the legal stuff if your wife leaves for the states while you are there (like JAG? a Chaplain? Your commander?) Ask for some help! Go back and read some of the advice you got earlier from military types---they have "been there, done that".
