I was feeling so good yesterday, but today is my birthday and when I talked to my wife yesterday, we discussed how things were gonnab be. Bills, visitation, and so forth. I realized that even though I have made my mistakes, I am not the only one responsible for this. I am so hurt and feeling so wortheless and whenever I think about what I could have done to save ny narriage and just didnt I feel so sad.
I told her I was going to call today at 1 oclock to talk to my kids for my birthday and she is not home. I tried calling her cellphone and she wont answer.
I know it sucks, but we call it a roller-coaster for a reason. One day you're up, and the next you're down. Realize that with every down, there's sure to be an up, just like you've already seen the the ups are usually followed by a down. The key is to learn how to prolong the ups and make the down's not so extreme. This can either be done by activly trying to make it happen or simply existing in your sitch longer, i.e. giving it time. Of course, you DO need to try somewhat to pull yourself up but it does get easier in time, I promise.
Anthony, good for you! Smile when you are on the phone with the children. Now the hard part is figuring out a goal just for YOU--nothing to do with kids or R.
Im having an anxiety attack. I talked to her this morning and she was nice. But then the us subject came up and she was cold again. She told my mother she loves me and her new friend seems to think I just need to give her space and not call about us. But she will move back to the states and Im getting scared. I mean it is so hard for me to tell her I love her and then hear her say whatever. It hurts. And i go home in about 2 months and then I have to face the day when they all walk out. Im so scared and I would give anything just to hear her say those words: I love you.
She says it was the constant calling that pushed her over the edge. How can this be happening?! I love her with everything, I do. Ive got to salvage my marriage and save this. Just one more chance to do this. PLEASE!!
