First of all I want to say thank you to all of you have helped me. And sorry for so many "threads", I am really new to this and I just needed help fast, so I posted to as many as possible that I thought applied to my situation.
If you dont mind I have an update I would like to share with everyone. I haverealized that if it going to happen, it is going to happen. I cant make her do anything that she does not want to and I cant make her love me again. She is hurt over the things that I have done and I am truly regretful for them. She has given me many times to show her change and I failed. I failed because I let the rush of life just interfere, I just assumed that I could always work on our marriage and that life would go on. Maybe this is gonna happen and maybe it wont. I felt tremendous guilt over what I had done and that is what was causing me so much pain. Then I got to the point to where it all seemed hopeless and that there was no use trying to save something that doomed. And that lasted all of 3 hours. But, I did not make her do any of the things she has done, I did not make her decision for her. So the only thing that I can do is take everyone's advice, work on myself, take care of myself, and by working on myself I can improve myself. Now, I know that this isnt the 100% guranteed way to get my wife back, but I have no other option. Im taking away her ability to spend all of our money, Im gonna pay the bills, iM gonna take care of my kids. But, if thisis her decision then she has to take care of the things that she wants to do. If she wants life to go on then so be it. Im gonna be cool and calm when I call her, Im not gonna beg, IM not gonna cry or shed another tear. I AM A SOLDIER IN THE UNITED STATES ARMY!! AND I WILL FIGHT FOR MY WIFE, MY CHILDREN, MY FAMILY!! BUT I WILL NOT BE USED AS A FLOORMAT. IM GONNA BE CALM, COOL, AND COLLECTED. I WILL USE MY HEAD WHEN I TALK TO HER AND I WILL BE THERE FOR HER AS A REAL MAN AND A FATHER TO "OUR" KIDS. SHE WILL ALWAYS BE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, BUT I HAVE TO IMAGINE LIFE WITHOUT HER. Im not gonna say that there wont be hard times ahead for me and I dont know if this will fix my marriage, but I will be strong.
I swear I will fight for my marriage like I have never fought anything before, just in a better way. And at the end, if its done, then no one will walk away a winner, well have fought this tooth and nail and earned each other's respect.
Thank all of you and by the way, I might need some more of your help.
