I was interested in your discussion on control when my H and I went to counselling the counsellor asked who has the power in your relationship and with both pointed to the other person - and she said that was often the case with seperating couples. My H believed I had the control because in the beginning I probably did - I Loved him but I was a much stronger person and would have walked away if I felt I was not going to live the life I wanted. He adored me and felt if he was going to keep me in his life he needed to make me happy - bizarrely we both thought this was a reasonable concept WTF! Any way I pushed my "power" too far (albeit he didn't tell me things had changed from his perspective ie how much hurt/insecurity he was feeling - he just shut down to me) When I realised what had happened I knew how much I wanted him in my life and he now effectively had the power but he never realised this changed dynamic so consequently we spent the next three years both feeling powerless, believing the other one held all the power.
So now I am reading a lot about distancing and pursuing to understand this particular dynamic.
Do you think Control and power are interchangeable terms or do you think they are different?
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change; (Life, the Universe, other people)
courage to change the things I can;(me, my attitudes, my behaviour, my reactions)
and wisdom to know the difference
