Quote: What you need to realize is that 'should be' means several things, some of which require action on your W's part.
I have become VERY clean on what I need over the past few days. I did realize that for my sitch to have progress, action is required on my W's part.
Quote: YOU 'should' have a good and decent life, with a loving partner and the freedom to be who you really are. That is your goal right now, to become the person who will be prepared to have these things.
I have realized that, despite my A, I am actually a good person. That does not mean that my A was right, regardless of what contributed to the deterioration of our M. The A was flat our stupid and wrong.
Quote: YOUR W 'should' find her innner self respect, not need to be a caretaker, or codependent on others and generally become mature and emotionally self sufficient. We don't know if that is her goal right now.
I certainly don't know what her goals are right now. I believe she doesn't either. I do hope that during her journey she will remain safe, become happy again, stay (or get) healthy, and become whole. SHE deserves that, as do our children.
Quote: The mindset you need to adopt is the same one I had. I was going to get MY life back on the track I wanted it on. After a while it was becoming clear that W was falling behind me in getting HER life on track. All I could do was stay strong and be a good example.
THAT is my goal now. I have realized that I don't need my W. I very much want to remain M, but I don't need her. I am continuing on my path of self-realization and self-improvement. I pray for her to do the same. I am going to continue on my path regardless.
Quote: Luckily, she snapped out of it when she saw ME being strong and truly not 'needing' her.
My W will see what yours saw. I only hope she snaps out of it while I am remaining open to reconciliation.
Quote: Your W will go down a similar path. None of us know if she will wake up in time while you still want her. You may grow beyond her because your blinders are off.
THAT is my biggest fear, that I will continue growing and she will not and I will no longer be open to reconciliation when her blinders come off. For the foreseeable future, though, I am in this battle for her, my M and my family to WIN! No white flags! No quitting. No surrender.
Quote: It's up to HER to change too.
Yes it is. I only recently that truth. I pray while I show patience, love and understanding.
