Well, I can tell things are going back to "normal" for H and I.... I've gained all but 5 lbs I lost when H left! UGH!!! I think some of it is because of our crazy schedules, the inablility to work out the 3 days a week I need and the fact that I'm pretty secure that someone wants to be with me. Or at least professes he does.... but H is no motivation for me. He says he loves me the way I am, which is good, but I need him to help motivate me too- to support the healthly eating and running/working out by doing it with me and help with encouragement.

Anyways tonight we are celebrating our 11 anniversary. Several months ago, I looked at this day and figured I'd be celebrating it with a bottle of wine and alone (or with somone else), but now I'll be celebrating it with a good meal, good wine and my H. I almost still can't believe he came home, and with such little effort on my part.

I still struggle with doubts that this wonderful bliss can continue and I feel things falling back into the "old" ways. The major differences... H doesn't go to the bar anymore (only occasionally - like once per week or less), H goes and does a lot more with me and DD, and H sleeps everynight with me, which has helped our sex life. What I still need from H..... reassurance that I'm what he wants, that he thinks I'm beautiful and special, that he believes in me and my endevors (school, weight-loss), to be interested in what I did during the day, work or recreation. I just need a friend... and slowlee, slowlee, slowlee he's returning....... lets pray he stays.

W&M