Update: This weekend was very normal. H went to help a friend seed a field most of Saturday morning. Then got a call to come to work which lasted all afternoon. I cooked supper Saturday night, then DD had to cheer. Sunday morning..... (ready for this!) he went to church with DD and I.
He is really trying hard. I've tried really hard myself, trying to be attentive, loving, just generally glad to have him home. But sometimes I catch myself second guessing why he came back. Especially the past two weeks when he's been living off me, not giving me any money and I've been running off savings. Or a comment that a girlfriend told me he said when asked about dating...."there's not anything out there" was his answer.... so was I the best he could get? I guess there will be some small nag of doubt for a while. When people ask if I'm happy, I shrug my shoulders and say yea... as happy as I can be.
I've thought about "OM", but not as much as last weekend. I feel a peace about him. I did find out that last weekend, he was have a bad weekend and thought about me a lot also... I really believe we are "connected" in some way- at least I can't answer why I thought about him so much. I still believe we are soulmates and some time or another, we'll be together.... even if thats an open friendship.
H and I have counseling again Wed... and have an assignment to turn in, I can't wait to see H's.
