Welcome! Your feelings sound very familiar as does your attitude. IMO you are right on track. Be cautious but enjoy everyday. Your inner strength is the key. My confusion is very similar to yours. My W hit MLC and did all sorts of strange, irresponsible things. She even told me to cheat on her so she would have "a reason to leave". I am successful, former male model, handy around the house, great dad, good sense of humor, and romantic. That MLC is a crazy thing. I like the "alien" reference as it is very accurate.
I believe in enjoying everyday with our SO as if it was the last. It is so worry to look too far ahead and lose focus on the R today. I think you are doing things very well. Keep "having fun" together and don't panic if he gets distant. Those days will happen. Just do your own thing and those "distant" times will shorten. It sounds over simplified but OR cause us to micro-manage and screw things up. I am trying to love my W and be a great H but there are no guarantees that she will reciprocate. That is okay too. If she doesn't love me and respect me, someone else will. It sounds like a "bad" attitude, but it is also realistic.
