He wants conversation-like the kind you have with a friend. He does not want the kind that may cause any contoversy as in an OR talk. He stays away from them for the most part. HE does not want to get locked iunto a conversation with me because I tend to outdo him in the talking sense. I don;t think he can process fast enough OR talks when they are deep, therefore feels threatened by them, or tends to get very defensive. You know-they best offense is a good defense-well he is King of the defense mode. I have to be very careful how I word things. Our MC is trying to get him to understand why he gets that way by looking back to his Childhood and his overbearing alchoholic Father. He still refused to see the connection, and is in total denial about the effect his Father had on him. His FAther also had an A. I'm sure this is a great sense of shame for Adrian since I'm sure he hated it when his Father did it to his Mother now he has done it to the Mother of his children. If he loks at how it pained him he would then have to look at how it pained our children and may have a lifetime effect on them. He has mentioned in C that he heard if you had a parent that had an A, you are more likely to have one also. I'm sure he thinks about our kids when he says things like that. The lure he had to her was such that he was willing to risk us, the kids and our family as a whole. I hope he is smart enough not to take that risk again. The damage would be irreprible to me and the kids. I think he knows this, but does he have the courage to face the reality of it?? I hope he already has. Rachael M.
