Had an OR talk tonight. We've found a house we like a lot that will be a stretch and I just needed some reassurance before taking such a plunge. He promised that he would never lie to me again about anything of significance and keep the white lies to a minimum. He says there is no affair and that he never wants that to happen again. Not sure if it's the right house for us but it was good to hear this and I have been hurting for a while. Don't want it to be a regular thing but once in a while... He seemed a bit irritated also and says he feels on eggshells because he doesn't know when he's going to hurt me. I said, it's not so tough to figure out but you probably would have to give it some careful thought.
So why can't I sleep?
I will watch over the next few days to see if things get better or worse. If they get better I will feel like I can talk to him but I will NOT take advantage of it. I will just be as loving as I can figure. I'll make a pact with myself to keep any "realizations" to myself and keep working on myself. If they get worse I better realize that direct communication just doesn't work. Hope it goes well. I do need to watch my mouth but I feel like I'm bound and gagged. There has got to be a way to get to a better place! At least I kept it pretty short and got to the point quickly.
Meanwhile... doing pretty well in going for several personal goals.
