andy, my h used sex against me as a way to distance us when he started the first affair. he pushed me constantly for sex. then he complained he didn't get it enough. so i called his bluff and we had sex everyday. then he said i only did it to make him happy. so whatever, he wanted it to be a problem to justify his bad behavior. the last affair he felt so guilty he left after cheating one time and we didn't have sex until we got back together about 3 weeks after he broke it off with scuzzy. i do not have the same problem rachael is having in that our sex is better than ever. he is so apreciative to be back with me he nver pressures me any more and just tells me when he'd like to make love to me in very complementary ways. the ow was not attractive physically or personality wise. my h calls me every mans fantasy. so i have no complaints. h says it is so much better with me there is no comparison. so the only advice i could offer would be for rachael to take care of herself for now and be playful and sexual without too much pressure. i can say i drove my h nuts by putting things on the calender. he always was very interested in what i was up to despite not living here or wanting to be married. i think i will post to her now what i mean.lisa
