You're right about humour turning against you. If you try to lighten things up wrt something he's sensitive about, then he'll surely think you're mocking him. On the other hand, if you use self-depricating humour, then you run the risk of him joining in, and you feel mocked.
Best to start with neutral - kinda third party - humour. Laughter really can lighten things up as long as you're both laughing. That's why I recommended a comedy club. If that's not available, how about a humourous movie?
Or sometimes it's just little things that happen. One day, a long time ago, W and I were holding hands when she felt a sneeze coming on. Well, she covered up her mouth when she sneezed, but neglected to let go of my hand.
It was funny. I still laugh about it.
It's all a matter of getting away from the over-sensitive stuff. You have to admit it, Rachael. Your H doesn't have the monopoly on hypersensitivity in your R, does he?
