Hi Frank,
Thank you for sharing your story. Sorry to hear about the sadness you and the girls are reminded about. Hopefully, the hurt gets healed soon. It is nice when people like you share from time to time your wisdom and lessons learned. I hope to be where you are someday. Don't know when or if the M would ever heal but I am changing all I can so there will be no regrets on my part. Thanks for the advice/reminder to heal ourselves. Good luck with your M. And by the way, it's so loving of you to be comforting your W and holding her hand as she deals with her guilt. ~PH
frank_d...the wind beneath my wings....I understand the journey you are on since, ironically, I am on a parallel path. I understand. I know the pain. I know the hurt. I know the healing process that we must go thru.
I, too, grieve when the threads I have joined do not result in a positive outcome. The pain we all suffer here is horrific. However, during this holiday season, we DO need to give thanks for the little things we have AND the big things: -our children -our health ..to mention a few. For the some of us, our M's/R's.
For me, I thank you again for helping to show me the way. My W is back. My healing is on it's way, and, like you, I have many obstacles to overcome. I hope that the true spirit of the season is yours to find.
From our house to yours, Happy Holidays.
Eastern Frank
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Thank you for this post, Frank. My H's A was during Christmas last year as well, and this month has been uber-difficult for me on a lot of levels. I completely agree with you. Our piecing is probably coming to an end post-holiday as well, so that possibility is difficult to process during this 'happy' time of year.
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Is 43:18-19
If it seems slow in coming, wait. It's on its way. It will come right on time. Hab 2:3
Quote: So, keep on keeping on. Keep the faith and remember everyone, it isn't your goal to heal your spouse, or your marriage. It is your goal to heal YOURSELF first so that it is POSSIBLE for your spouse to heal, and then your marriage to heal.
Once you do heal yourself, you won't NEED your spouse or your marriage any more. You'll choose to pursue it without the neediness and if it doesn't come back you'll know you did all that could be done. If it does return then you'll be in a much better relationship that you ever were before.
Amen. I too don't post as often - but when I do to others it usually entails a snippet like the above - since it is in essence completely true.
Sven
Never sacrifice the great for the good. Sometimes the beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair.
Thanks for that Frank. I am feeling a bit down in that department these days but really it's only in my ablilty to see my own sitch as clearly as I do other's. In that, I think you have always excelled. You have been equally good at living the advice as giving it.
Quote: Thanks for that Frank. I am feeling a bit down in that department these days but really it's only in my ablilty to see my own sitch as clearly as I do other's.
Sometimes I still need to be told when to do something and what to do. We're all works in progress.
