Ok guys. It was hell last night. I was shaking all over while he was gone,, but composed when he got home. Of course my mind would wander to if there has been contact with the OW. I very gently asked him this morning. He promised me tht he has had no contact with her, nor does he want to. Did he sound real convincing. no. not really. Just short simple answers. Its hard to keep your mouth shut when they falsly accuse you. Slurred speech! I sat there and had a whole conversation with the Dr. Our son would have most assuredly said something had my speech been slurred! When he gopt home I hugged him and told him I was sorry,and asked him if he was and he said yes. You can count on one time the number of times the man has voluntrily told me he was sorry, so I was not going to let this one go by without him at least acknowedging he had some part in it.It was probably wrong to make him say it, but if he wasn.t the least bit sorry and still mad he would not have said he was.I guess it was my way of nuetralizing the sitchuation. This morning he wished me a happy birthday (I'm 47 today) and was nice, but still wanted nothing to do with me sexually. He got out of bed before anything could happen. When it was safe and he was dressed he came over and lay next to me at MY request and that's when I asked him about the OW, Not accusatroy like he had been. Its just that I think I see a pattern of this distancing every week around the same time. Maybe its my imagination, I don't know anymore. All I know is I don't know anything anymore. He was very sweet and told me he loved me several times-a total turn around from last night except he did not want me. That is VERY out of character for him pre-OW.He jst hurt me so bad by the way he was so cold and indifferent last night. And I am the peacemaker because I can't stand to be at odds like that. I smoothed things over and he was ok,but He hurt his back lifing a door before he came home and used it as an excuse not to have sex. Before OW NOTHING would have stopped him! SO. if I geth this right, I just keep my mouth shut when he says things like he did about the slurred speech and when he acts like he does not want me to go with himn someplace -just let it go? Don't ask questions or try to talk about it? It does not matter, he turns it around and makes it seem like its all my fault when all I was trying to do was understand wehre he was coming from with all this craziness. It had me scared-scared that he was avoidingme because of "her". You say no, its not that. I hope your right. If not,he's the biggest liar I've ever known if he can look into my eyes and tell me he has not had any contact with her and then tell me he loves me! I want out of this craziness! I told him I just wanted us to have a normal , happy life again only better than it was. He did not say anything. He is not much for talking. Today is goingto be a long day. It would have been very nice since it was my birthday to have him forego his ususal taking his employees out to breakfast and opted to do somethign with me-I wouldhave done that for him,but then they're not like us are they? Rachael M.
