Ok Frank, I'll do the Amy thing and ask you to check in on someone. Jack_Straw on the Infidelity is dealing with trying to get his sobriety through AA and save his marriage. I thought you may be able to help him through his struggles. Thanks.
I have not been posting or reading as I have been at a health retreat for the past week - the best decision I have made in a long time. I have returned feeling refreshed and ready to start making some of the changes I need to make for me.
Starting my own thread - now that is scary!
How are you going? I have been wondering if you are getting the nuturing you need in your relationship as yet I seem to recall you wondering out loud when it was your turn to feel truly loved and accepted and most of all understood - if I have that wrong I apologise it may just be the way I read your comments.
It strikes me that you have had (as poasibly we have all had to one extent or another) a troubled pathway as a child and while you have done the work on you to resolve those issues and to give your wife unconditional love I am not sure I get the feeling that you have been the recipent of this unconditional love from your wife - then again I could be way off track here!
True intimacy, as you know, is about someone really getting who you are, what your fears, strengths, weaknesses are as a person not as part of a couple but Frank the individual, Frank the child who suffered a lot of rejection and how this has contributed to making you you.
Just a thought. I say this because my Husband has a strong outward persona, but inside he was very sensitive and would take every argument/conflict with me far more personally then I ever did. I trusted he loved me and I thought he trusted I loved him (I certainly told him so enough and believed I showed him the same thing but who knows how he interpretted my actions/words). When we fought he would go to pieces inside butI really didn't get this as this was not what happened for me...I know, I know...much wiser now in hindsight. You would never tell from his outward demeanour the pain he was feeling - he would go quiet and cold, distancing himself from me and I always saw that as him not caring when in fact I think it was him caring too much. Now of course I can see the suff he bought with him from his chilhood but I didn't see it then. I hope that he is using this time to work on this but who knows...I know I am using this time to work on my stuff
Anyway just dropped in to say Hi
I read this great quote on my retreat "there are many paths to the gaining of wisdom But all begin with a broken heart"
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change; (Life, the Universe, other people)
courage to change the things I can;(me, my attitudes, my behaviour, my reactions)
and wisdom to know the difference
Frank you helped me out A LOT before and for that I thank you. I've gone into a tail spin if you don't mind would you stop by My Thread and throw in your two or three cents. I've went into a tail spin! Thanks
Changed my loggin, the other was too "obvious" how do I start my own thread? I want one for all the Aussies on this board...
Cheers
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change; (Life, the Universe, other people)
courage to change the things I can;(me, my attitudes, my behaviour, my reactions)
and wisdom to know the difference
Hey Frank D- I'm hearing some amazing things about your over in Separating. I could really use some of your sage advice now. Jump over to my thread when you have a chance. Thanks in advance.
M 33
WAH 33
M 6 years
No Kids
Bomb 4/21/06
he filed for divorce
he filed for divorce - now what? part I
I never post to you so I jsut wanted to say hello. I know I have thanked you in the past, but if I do not do it enough I want you to know hwo grateful I am. It is nice to get guidance from somemone older and mature and experience. I know I am my own worst enemy and even though I f-up soemtiems you have helped me from myself a few times. Just wish my W would talk to yours.
Quote: I know I am my own worst enemy and even though I f-up soemtiems you have helped me from myself a few times. Just wish my W would talk to yours.
I wish I could think of something profound and witty but I can't.
Tell your wife you know someone throug a support group for women who have been through the traumas and feelings she has been through. And if she wants you can get her the phone number of that person and perhaps they can trade stories and she might not feel so alone.
