In the past, it was a VERY BAD thing when friend’s W “got involved.” Whenever she felt that they were getting too close, he saw her as a roadblock to his friendships. They weren’t “doing” anything, so his W was only being controlling. OK. That’s their problem, not mine, right? Wrong, because when this happened, my W started looking for the same attitude in me. Guess what? If you look hard enough for something, you find it.
This would put W and MF on one team, and the controlling spouses on the opposing team.
He’ll never get “out of the picture.” At one time or another, he, and my W offered (to each other), to bow out so that they could avoid the flack, but the spouse had to back off, and not be “jealous” and controlling.
Anyway, I’m OK with him being W’s friend. As long as I can be “in the picture.” And as long as I can be a better friend than him, he’s just another friend who happens to be male.
Bridget,
I’m glad you think I’m a success story. I’ve come sooooooooo close before only to have things blow up in my face. But, I think things are truly getting better this time. What’s different? Well, W says things are getting better.
I posted yesterday that W stated her willingness to try sex again. I also posted that it didn’t happen, but I was happy anyway that she made the offer. She’s gone to her parents for a week, so I don’t know how the follow up will take shape, but when I got home last night there was a note on my pillow:
quote: Sorry about last night. My intentions were good but I was exhausted. I hope you have a good week. Don’t fret. Things are better. I Love you.
W XX
Yes. Things are getting better.
Rachael,
You say that when you lost your libido, your H put sex first and foremost (unlike me). I hafta say, Rachael, your perception of your H is EXACTLY the same as my W (of me). I’m not more compassionate than your H. The difference is that you read the thoughts that I post about how I really feel. You don’t see my actions.
My W on the other hand, sees the actions, and can’t read my mind.
Think about it, Rachael. Your H is a better man than you think. He may screw up (in his actions), but I’m sure he’d be shocked if he ever figured out how badly his actions reflect his intent.
I had to be hit over the head with a 2X4, and it still hurts!
