Andy,
You have posted of the long standing pattern you and UR W have held for what must felt like an eternity and hence is a source of UR frustration. Then on Tuesday:

"W: You’re very patient with me."

The pattern has been broken by your persistent DBing over time and now will continue to desolve if you continue the course. This shows that "what works", but you thought was no longer working, IS in fact still working, but took a "little" longer to see than you expected. [Wink]

quote:
The fact that she acknowledged my effort, and that I was patient with her, shows that she didn’t feel like she had to use her traditional posturing to protect herself. Instead, she showed me genuine sympathy for how I felt. Maybe even acknowledged that there was some legitimacy to my desires.
Yes, there is a shift in UR W's way of thinking and I am glad that you recognize it. That is very important now. There is a transformation occurring here. It might be best now to sit back and just watch what takes form. No big 180's at this point, but patiently nurture what has been started.

quote:
She still isn’t capable of responding to me, or my needs.
Andy, this still too big a leap for her to take all at once. In order to curb your frustrations, this needs to be kept as a long term goal and focus on the baby steps that get you there. As I have mentioned before. There is only one way a block of ice becomes a puddle of water ...

... drip ... drip ... drip ... drip ... drip ...

the transformation happens ONE drip at a time. (Hmmm, this might be a good candidate your next thread's title.) [Cool]

'til later,
KAW