Just checking to see how things are going for you. I would like to offer alittle advice not that I am an expert but there was a time in my life that I had a similar position as your wife.
About 4 years after we where married, I felt I needed some space because I didn't think I loved my H the way I should. I was gone for 2 months before he pursuaded me to come home. My H seemed to smother me at times. When your hurting and trying to deal with your feelings it's difficult trying to deal with your spouses too. It was a real turn off for me. Once he settled down and gave me some room to breath, things got better.
It's great that you two are seeking counceling. I wish we had. Maybe we wouldn't be in this situation now. Just give her "quiet" reasurance that you are there for her and love her from a close distance. You have made a big step in getting her to come this far. You can make it all the way if you both truely want that.
I am concerned that she has still had contact with OM. What legitmate reason could there be for that? I wouldn't like it either. Considering my H works with his OW, it will be very difficult knowing he would still see her, should he ever decide to come home. He has a great job and it would be financially devastating to give that up right now. I just wish she would quit!!! I really can't imagine why, other than work, she would feel the need to see him. She should break all ties, in my opinion. I am not sure that issue should be pushed right now. You should be proud that she is telling you up front instead of lying about it. That's a start anyway.
Good Luck, let us know how the counceling is going and keep us posted as to your progress. Do you feel the DBing principles really made her come back? I will read your other post as soon as I can. My books haven't come yet, I just started posting about a week or two ago, so I am still trying to understand this concept.
