Swan Dive off the Pedestal

[Jamesjohn]

Also, Andy, just because your partner lets out a "knee-jerk reaction" when you've done something doesn't mean that what you doesn't work. In fact, it may often be just the opposite.

You may have taken them (and probably you) out of a comfort-zone, out of automatic pilot, which is a good thing. Especially when things aren't quite working the way they are.

In fact, if there ISN'T some kind of reaction, it may be dangerously close to "more of the same".

Some of the best changes that happened in my relationship were after knee-jerk reactions. Not immediately after, but usually very soon.

I thing that Phoe can attest to this, also.

You did something the other night that seemed to work. Don't discount that. What things in that exchange seemed to work, and what kind of solutions can you see coming from that information?

Phoe - I LOVE that book, almost better than the DB or DR books.

If I have to PAY someone for me to lay on their couch every week and listen to me talk, I want a foot massage or back-rub out of the deal!

(P.S. I've had some bad experiences in my family with the "experts" in the counseling profession. The only ones I've had any kind of respect for have had techniques similar to Michele's. The others seemed to have done more harm for us than good.)