Good stuff all around. And Rachel? Believe me, I KNOW anxiety and stress and all the trappings involved. I was quite the slave to my own stuff (and depression and about anything else you can imagine to boot [Wink] ). I couldn't stand being around myself, much less see how others could deal with me. I also know that it takes time and work to get away from it.

Saying that...what ended up helping me the most was the prods/jabs from those who cared about me and then the space to do it. Truthfully, getting uncomfortable enough with myself to finally enact my own plan to get away from it. It's been almost 5 years now since I've done that, probably 8 since I started trying to figure out how within constraints I ended up discarding. Funny cause Michele's book Fire Your Shrink (which JJ reminds me is called Changing Your Life and Everyone In It now) pretty much lays out step-by-step what I did to get where I am. Only I didn't know about the book at the time [Roll Eyes] . I did these things without meds and without too much councelling at all. And I was really messed up before. I had a lot of "issues" which I choose to not revisit today. Now when my old anxiety or other feelings come up, I stop or slow way down and deal with it. In my marriage and family, there is absolutely no room for the luxury of going backward.

So I guess what I'm saying is we are all different and different things work for us, but I still find that specific things generally have a specific variety of things that we can do that works to bring us out of the ruts. On the board I think we need to help prod each other to get out of the ruts. I understand venting but a little goes a long way. Usually, when one vents too much - they're trying to feel like they're doing something while staying in their safe zone.

Like DB, I'm not looking to eliminate but to see if there's a pattern to it and/or if it's a habitual knee jerk reaction where we need to break the cycle of it. Is there a way to change things so the frequency and intensity diminish. Good goals I think.

I'm not picking on Andy or anyone when I post what I post. Fact is, I really don't have a lot of emotion involved these days which is heaven for me. Ultimately I'm only responsible for me and usually make it a point to others to take or leave whatever I say. We gravitate to who we feel some kind of afinity for. Everything in life is a careful balance and I think Andy understands me pretty good. We actually have a lot in common [Big Grin] . We've both come a long way from some rather persnikity reactive emotional states. Tho I gotta admit...One full time kid is enough for me. I can't imagine a handful, much less an autistic one in the mix. He's a better man that me (har har har). Have a nice evening all. This thread has suddenly gotten very very stimulating - it's a good thing IMO [Big Grin] .