GEL: Thanks for the advice. To answer your question...When I try to talk to her about it, she just says she does not want sex and it's that simple. She usually then refuses to discuss it or discusses it only briefly. At first she said she enjoys sex when we have it, but cannot get in the mood. She later admitted that there were times she faked an O. She thought I was mad about that (I was not). I said that I was only frustrated that she with held pertinent information that could lead to a solution. She says with holding info is not actually a lie...but I disagree. Again, if all the cards are not on the table, there is no way to find a path out of this mess.
I guess that I should buy the love language book, but frankly I see that as just one more expense in the road to no where. Until she is ready to work, none of my efforts matter. This has been my experience thus far.
So I had an interesting one-on-one discussion with the MC yesterday. We went over some of the highlights/lowlights and I asked for MC's general perception of the situation. I was surprised when MC said that the way she was acting is "bs" and illogical. Further that I had made a number of concessions and she has made few, if any, that MC was aware of. Nor does it appear she feels obligated to have a sexual relationship or much else. As a Dr. (also a Gyn), sees nothing physically amiss. As the MC, sees her perspective as "not adding up". As a man, he said I am in a diffiult situation. Then MC said "do you feel like you are being conned?" which is what I have said all along. That once we got married, all the behavior changed drastically. Anyway, in some way I feel totally vindicated by the discussion with MC. Yet any positive feelings of vindication are quickly squashed by the mess I see and the lack of cooperation or forthcomingness (is that even a word?) from her.
