I'd take Karen up on the Db'ing help she's offering, but I will say this too. Sometimes you have to show the other person that this behavior is a deal breaker for you in your M.
Right now it doesn't appear that there's been any consequences for your W's lack of effort on this issue....so, she probably really doesn't believe #1 that it's the issue you say it is (IOW...she thinks you are blowing it out of proportion), or #2 she doesn't think you'll really do anything about it.
You didn't answer my question though Truman. I understand this has been an issue since day 1 of your M for you, BUT how long have you actively been trying to work on this issue, in MC, when was your first serious talk with your wife about this?
I now do understand though your "living like rommates scenario", but doubt it'll have the impact on her you are hoping for. It comes across as "if you have sex with me...I'll start sharing the money again...tit-for-tat. Sound like anything else you've heard of? I don't think it'll be likely to get the result you want.
What I'd like to know is this...do you know what her love languages are? Do you speak her love languages to her? If you don't know what I'm talking about...pick up the book "The Five Love Languages". I have a BIG hunch the two of you aren't speaking each others languages. She's speaking hers to you...you are speaking yours to her....and that won't work.
