chrome, go to bed-- to sleep. Stop dwelling on this tonight. There's no point. Don't indulge glob's mood. Gently remove him from the driver's seat. Just tell him we're knocking it off for the night.
Re chrom Can't sleep I understand not sleeping. I am often up till 2AM probably for similar reasons.
Sometimes I turn on comedy programs on TV. I assume you have cable or something similar. If not Leno, Letterman help.
How much does ColdPlay's music influence your moods? You sure post a lot of references to them and that might be part of the problem. I suggested something with more snap and less emotional. I don't know anything about Coldplay. You can call me behind the times if you want. Some of us older folks like what we like but would listen to some newer things if exposed to it.
Try listening to William Tell, 1812 Overtures, Holst the Planets, Beach Boys. Look up the story behind the song or the story of the composers life, that will change the song's meaning.
About 15 years ago, when I couldn't sleep, I listened to late night talk radio. There was almost always someone with wack-o ideas trying to prove his point. Some were so ridiculous it was almost comical. UFO's and Mexico, area 51, and of coures "special government projects."
I got into short wave radio listening. I did the BBC thing but now that sort of thing is on the inter-net.
giving my entire heart, my entire soul, everything I have, and getting only crumbs in return. I can't take it anymore. You can take it. You did before you married. I did before I was married. We all did it before we were married. It still sucks though.
What changed? Expectations, responsibilities, but you are about the same. Sure it sucks giving and not getting what you want right now but you are were making progress. Stick with it for the pay-off.
I know you want more, better pay-offs from your W, but don't forget about all of the other pay-offs in life. Your job, your friends, your kids and even unexpressed pay-offs from your W.
Some of these women, don't seem like they have much in the pay-off department, or at least it is not visible. I bet if you were abducted by those Mars guys, and gone for a week, your W would be lost w/o you.
Personally I don't believe in that sort of stuff, something about fuel, propulsion devices, time, and distance does not compute, but I am the guy that thinks 1960 Ford Falcons are OK cars. ( It they had air conditioning )
Yea, Star Trek is cool and has neat gadgets. Is good for thinking about "what if" but I think it will take a longer time than most people thing for just some of the ideas in the series to become reality. Sorry for the drift away from my original intention.
Moods improve, get bad, then improve, but you already knew that. Life is like a stock market average line. It is up and down based on what people "think" next week, next month will be like. When next week or next month gets here, the average (DOW, S&P 500, etc) line is some where else, not where people said it would be.
One college prof told the class to talk and act like college students, not high school kids. He said high school kids sweat, college students perspire. Maybe college was helpful after all.
I replaced a fence post (railroad tie) set in old concrete that needed to be broken up before I put in the new railroad tie post.:p IE I was perspiring most of the day so I smell right now. It's shower time.
How is the unmentioned problem going? I looked for an e-mail from you but didn't see one.
I'm going to echo Lou's suggestion. You seem to use music in much the same way that I do at times and it's not necessarily a good thing. Start listening to some music that is neither overtly sexual, like hip-hop, or overly emotional for you. I guess this would vary from person to person but I find that "Doolittle" by the Pixies fits the bill.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Chorme, we all hurt for you (hell, we all hurt for each other), but you must take charge of the things you can take charge of.
Stop listening to the music that just intensifies your ache. (After I got a divorce, over 30 years ago, I couldn't listen to the radio for TWO YEARS because EVERY song made me cry.)
Stop dwelling in your mind on the pain-- ESPECIALLY late at night.
Can't sleep? Then, as Lou says, do something to distract yourself... clean, build something, watch the food network.
When I can't sleep, I lie quietly and say over and over again slowly, in time with my breaths, "Be" (on the in-breath) "still" (on the out-breath). I focus only on the words and when I find myself thinking distressing thoughts, I bring myself back to those two words.
You CAN do this. But you must take a grownup, proactive approach. You must make the decision and the commitment to help yourself.
Millions and millions of other people throughout recorded and unrecorded history have lived through emotional pain far worse than anything we on this board suffer... and they got through it. This is what I told myself over and over again after my husband died.
I am so convinced that you are a 4-- you seem like the reincarnation of a 19th century romantic poet. I don't mean that in a bad way-- those are some of my favorite people!
But 4's (like them, like us) can get stuck in some VERY dark places and to attempt to distract themselves or make themselves feel any better feels inauthentic and futile to them. But they (we) are wrong. Those things DO help. The healing of your own soul is in your hands, and you CAN do this. You CAN get through your days. You have the tools and the skills.
Chrome, I agree with what Lil said. You can get through this and you will. I realized this morning that each low point I reach, feeling sorry for myself and my circumstances....it seems to precede a period of growth. It's like I subconsciously fight it or something, but I woke up this morning realizing that it's time to grow again. Could it be the same for you?
I am confused about your current state because I thought things were going better, it sure sounded like it from your posts. I forget who posted it, but it made a lot of sense that depression triggers aren't always 'bad' things, good things cause chemical reactions as well. Open up Chrome, what's going on in there?
"Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued, is always just beyond your grasp, but which, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you."
Chrome, I am not typically a twangy country music person (more like the farthest thing from it), but after taking the kids to see "Cars" recently, I picked up the soundtrack as the kids liked the music and wanted to hear the songs as we drove places.
On the Soundtrack is a song that is really twangy.. but I have been captivated by it due to the message and find my self both listening and singing along on a regular basis. It's called "Behind the Clouds" by Brad Paisley and it says this:
Artist: Brad Paisley Lyrics Song: Behind the Clouds Lyrics When you're feeling lonely, lost and let down Seems like those dark skies are following you around And life's just one big shade of gray You wonder if you'll see the light of day
{chorus} Behind the clouds, the sun is shining Believe me even though you can't quite make it out You may not see the silver lining But there's a big blue sky waiting just behind the clouds
I've heard it said that this too shall pass Good times or bad times, neither one lasts But thinking that your luck won't ever change Is like thinking it won't ever stop once it starts to rain
{chorus} Behind the clouds, the sun is shining Believe me even though you can't quite make it out You may not see the silver lining But there's a big blue sky waiting just behind the clouds Yeah, there's a big blue sky waiting just behind the clouds
---
The song makes a very good point, for those of us struggling with the hard times where we just can't see what is ahead. Thought you may find it interesting..
BTW... Coldplay is a great band... one of my favorites. Oh, and I just happened to see an accoustic Foo Fighters show the other night while on a business trip.. Had no idea they were playing that night, just happened to wander in front of the theater on my way to my hotel after dinner and some guy on the street offered me a ticket for $10. Simply Amazing show! They may have some good stuff for you too!
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