"You would hardly sound like a wimp for thanking your wife for coming out of her shell. I always thank my husband when he lets me do things that have previously been out of his comfort level. I know that he's doing it to please me and I am thankful for it."
I know, I'm just paranoid about the placating stuff sometimes. I don't want it to come across as "oh, thank you thank you thank you for this wonderful gift you have given me, how can I ever repay you" type stuff. I know it is extreme, but that is the sort of thing I think about sometimes. I look back at myself and can see what a horribly placating guy I was, and how unattractive it must have been for my W. I'm just trying to walk the fine line between being overly "nice" and thinking "she should have been doing this all along anyway, why should I thank her?" KWIM?
"Is that it? are you just afraid that you may never be happy with her even if she becomes the sex kitten of the century?"
I'll have to admit, that thought or something like it has crossed my mind. I do want my W to become very sexually adventuresome. But that is only a part of the close EC I want with her. I do worry I won't ever get there.
"do you really consider suicide? I had a period in my life (I probably had PPD and didn't address it) where I really thought about running away, which is totally out of character for me. I have a fierce love for my children. Think of your babies if you get those ugly thoughts, Chrome."
I sort of misspoke there. I'm not contemplating suicide right now (although I will admit I did in the past). All I am saying is that this "flaw" that I mention has the potential for ruining my life, but I feel powerless to control it. If my life was ruined by my own actions, I might dive back into a suicidal state. But then again, most people probably would.
And you are right, I don't think I ever would because I couldn't do that to my family.
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
