You would hardly sound like a wimp for thanking your wife for coming out of her shell. I always thank my husband when he lets me do things that have previously been out of his comfort level. I know that he's doing it to please me and I am thankful for it.

Now, I may be a little slow on the uptake, but the vibe I am getting from you is that although your wife is becoming a little more sexual with you, you still aren't happy. Is that it? are you just afraid that you may never be happy with her even if she becomes the sex kitten of the century? That's a problem for me too :/ I have been trying to let go of the fantasy marriage/relationship that I've been trying to live up to for so long. Wish I had better advice, but I struggle with some of the same things.

P.S. do you really consider suicide? I had a period in my life (I probably had PPD and didn't address it) where I really thought about running away, which is totally out of character for me. I have a fierce love for my children. Think of your babies if you get those ugly thoughts, Chrome.