OK folks. Something has got to give. This morning made about 9 times in the last 4 days. I'm actually started to wear out a bit. I guess I need to eat some spinach.
We are having a different kind of problem, in that she sometimes O's WAAAYYY too fast. I mean, like 5 seconds after I find her G spot. I don't even have a chance to try any of the delay tactics. I do engage in foreplay for about 15-20 minutes typically (although this morning she wanted it NOW!). Now if it is the second O of the night, I can do my thing. So ladies, what can I do to prolong the first O? I know this isn't exactly on-topic for this board, but I have developed a rapport with you folks that I'm not sure I want to start all over on another board.
On a whim, she decided to get the tape measure out and get official measurements. Unfortunately, the big guy didn't seem to like that kind of attention and wouldn't fully respond. We did get him at about 7.5" in circumference, while still a little flaccid. That is bigger around than her wrist. For some reason she seemed very prideful about the whole thing.
Any general sexual tips, tricks, things you folks enjoy, please pass on. I do plan on buying more books and looking online, but there is nothing like word of mouth. This thread could be a clearinghouse for things you enjoyed in the past and would like to do again, things you never had a chance to do, or things happening now that really work for you.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
"Chrome- You are obviously on the right track. I agree with Karen - control in a man is quite sexy. To be Alpha you have to have the power AND the control. If you have the gun but you don't know how to handle it you are either going to scare or annoy a woman and in either case her only concern will be how to get that gun out of your hands. By analogy, I would say that previously your wife was treating you like a boy with a water pistol because you didn't have the power."
I like the analogy. I think for awhile I didn't have either control or power. Then my cage got rattled and I was filled with power but no control (resulting in depression). Now I have both and things are clicking.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
"Before you go on hiatus could you maybe offer some advice? I am a LDW trying to change and looking for a way to "surprise" H. I am looking for ideas and you seem to love to talk S, got some quick pointers? You could email them to me also, coffee-chat@wi.rr.com"
Sure, I liked your idea so much I decided to start this thread.
So what is it you are trying to do? Are you trying to provoke your H into doing things that will increase your interest? Do you want to change your status from LDW to HDW? Talk to me.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
Out of curiosity...have you asked her "why the sudden change of heart on this?" In a non-threatening "I like it" manner?
As for her O'ing that quickly...are you positive she really is? Maybe some others on here have experienced a woman O'ing that quickly...but I know that doesn't happen with me, nor any of my close female friends that I've discussed this with. Perhaps though your W gets herself worked up to the brink of it before you even start.
It seems like a BIG change that's happened very quickly. Not that this couldn't happen...everyone's different. Definitly take precautions...just in case she's in baby making mode.
I'm really happy she seems to be taking an interest in this
"Remember this milestone when you encounter the next speedbump (sorry to say that but for all of us they are inevitable from time-to-time)...it wasn't very long ago you didn't think you two would be having a weekend like this. You hoped for it, but you weren't sure it ever would...now it has. Next time you find yourself down...pull out this memory and remind yourself that you reached this goal...the others are attainable too!"
Very true, and I am cognizant of the fact that this can't possibly continue ad infinitum. Your last sentence did get me thinking. What are my other goals?
(1) An atmosphere of genuine affection. We are definitely not there yet, but it is getting much better. The W this morning said "affection is much easier now because I am not afraid of you pouncing on me anymore." In my mind I had it the other way around, that affection would come first then sex, but this way is ok too. (2) Lots more quality time. The night at the cabin was great, and she really enjoyed it. She openly said afterwards that having a good experience like that has opened her up to the possibility of doing more. I'm really hopeful that once the baby gets to babysitting age, we can start really getting out. Of course, I am also planning trips with the twins, and the baby after awhile too.
(3) This may be selfish, but I don't really care. It makes me feel really good when I hear WOA. I'm thinking this one may take care of itself after awhile, but if not I'll try to find an angle to deal with it.
(4) I still think MC, WWME, etc. is warranted. It just may not be as urgent, but a good session periodically to keep the juices flowing can't hurt. I'm sure that I can get her to agree to at least once every 6 months or so. Our marriage is worth it.
Thanks GEL
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
"Phew! Now I've told you already no more posts of that nature it gets us HD women all heated up. As if I wasnt' hot enough already with it being 35 deg celsius (That's HOT for all you non metric types)."
D@mn, US Customary system. I wish we would switch to metric. I do go around telling people I am 2.07 meters tall. LOL
"Just make sure you hurry up and get that snip, it's going to be tough on you and Mrs Chrome to control yourselves, and don't forget there's about 3 months I think to wait after they do the snip before the fluid is clear of semen. You have to go back and get a test done to make sure none of the little wrigglers are coming through."
Yikes! Didn't know that. I have another one of those 2 week workshops starting next week, then I am traveling to AL and Boston afterwards. Figured I'd get the snip once classes started. Students won't mind if I hold my crotch and moan while I lecture.
"Are you sure she's not trying to wring a 4th kid out of you? You know sneak one under the wire so to speak? But I can tell you are a man of iron these days Chrome so you're not going to fall for it, and as you're finding out there are so many other fun things to do."
Right on sister. If this does end up being a plot (and I 99.9% don't think so), she will find out the hard way that I am a man of steel now.
"Take care, keep posting from time to time just to check on us. I'm so proud of you Chrome, you ARE the man."
Don't worry, not planning on leaving. Just shifting focus. I do feel bad that I get a LOT more advice than I give, so I think it is time for payback. It just might take me awhile to get revved up.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
"contrary to HD's rules, lucky ba$tard and good on the no IC and potential pregnancy. It could be your W likes sex but is also concerned/ worried about getting PG. She might losen up more if she knowsa she "won't get PG" Strange but I think it might be true."
I think you are right Lou. It does seem that once settling the issue of having a 4th kid was one of the catalysts for her coming out. She may still want another, but I do think that deep inside she feels a sense of freedom not having to worry about that anymore.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
"I gotta say this crossed my mind, too. So BE careful! No chances!"
Do not fear for me Lil. It ain't gonna happen.
"Also being on vacation can get the juices flowing (I believe Karen and her H experience this). So try to maintain some of the vacation "flow" when you get home."
I hear you. Will do.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
"Out of curiosity...have you asked her "why the sudden change of heart on this?" In a non-threatening "I like it" manner?"
Nope. Not going to, for awhile. I'm sure there will be a time period in which we slow down a little. If we never do ... . But that point might be a good time to reflect, kwim?
"As for her O'ing that quickly...are you positive she really is? Maybe some others on here have experienced a woman O'ing that quickly...but I know that doesn't happen with me, nor any of my close female friends that I've discussed this with. Perhaps though your W gets herself worked up to the brink of it before you even start."
Well, she did O before with just breast stimulation, and that is what I am calling foreplay (along with kissing, being very physically playful with her, etc.). I am wondering if her newfound sexual freedom and the new experience of G-spot stimulation may be a little overwhelming for her. Believe me, I want it to take longer. This morning she hopped into the shower with me ready to go, even grabbed my hand and put it down there. But this time it took about 10 minutes and she had a big time O (almost fell on top of me). She has much more intense O's when it takes longer, that is why I asked for advice on how to prolong.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
Try to remember though her O isn't your responsibility. It isn't necessary for her to have an intense O all the time. Sometimes too YOU will have no control over the intensity or...whether she has one. If she has one quickly and it's small, that's fine. Just go with it. Sometimes there isn't any controlling it. Some days you may fire her right off....some days it may take 20 minutes or longer LOL.
Try to remember the O isn't the important thing...the connection is. But it's all fun isn't it?
. But that point might be a good time to reflect, kwim?