I just got off the phone with W. I called her to tell her I'd be working late. I asked her how it was going and she siad, "Not good." I asked her if I could talk about it when I got home, and she said, "No." I told her I wanted to talk about what was bothering me, even if she didn't want to talk about what was bothering her. She said, "We'll see when you get home."
I'm very worried about her in view of the fact that she feels signs of her depression returning.
As to me, I'm taking care of myself. I feel strong right now. I don't think depression is hanging over me right now.
I try to be the master of looking at things from W's perspective, but I just can't figure things out right now.
That's why I want to talk. I want to explain that though I try, I just can't figure her perspective out. I want to tell her that if she chooses not to reveal her perspective, I'm OK with that, but it leaves things open to misinterpretation.
Maybe she's struggling with her privacy v.s. my right to know about things that affect me. I don't know.
All I know right now is that W is feeling down right now, and I'm at the centre of it.
So, to answer your question, Rachael. I don't think it's the time to write her a letter, or in fact to ask her what she wants from me.
