The reason I say NEVER is that I’m all too aware of the pain an A caused people on these boards as well as their families. I also have first hand experience as a child of divorce whose father had an A. It doesn’t make me perfect, but it sure makes me aware.
Lily,
I can see from your recent posts that you feel isolated. I really wish there was something I could do to help you. All I can offer is a {{{{HUG}}}}, and tell you that it’ll pass. You’re a strong lady, Lily. Just let the feelings flow through you until they fade.
That’s what I have to do right now.
So. Back to me (I can be so self-centred). Like Lily, I’m feeling isolated right now. I guess that’s the major problem I’ve been experiencing throughout all of this.
This morning, W told me that she was discussing our sit with an acquaintance. I hate it that we can’t seem to talk about it between ourselves. Seems like W talks to just about everyone else but me. I suppose it sounds kinda hypocritical of me since I do the same thing here.
What a mess!
So, anyway, the friend recommended a psychologist. She’s considering it.
She called me this morning, and we got into an OR talk. It was kinda difficult since I was at work, and the kids were probably near by to her.
Seems like she has decided to see the C to sort out her lack of desire for me, and will also make a doctor’s appointment as soon as they open (after summer vacation) in order to “cover all the bases.”
She told me that she knows I’m a “good man” That statement sounded a little contrived to me, so I had to ask, “But you don’t love me?” She said, “I didn’t say that.”
She said that she knows I’ve been trying very hard over the last two years. I said that yes, I was, but apparently I was doing the wrong things.
She dug up some old issues (tho, like Fille said, if they’re still there, they’re not old).
I offered to see the C, and she balked. “That’s one of the things you’re going to have to change. You have to learn to butt out sometimes. Some things are personal. <<her friend>> agrees.”
I tried to explain that I care about her and I want to do whatever it takes to make things right. She didn’t buy it. She still resents the fact that when she burned out, I told her to take care of it, and that it was her problem. When I burned out, I “tried to turn it from an Andy problem into a couples problem.” She said that instead of working on my own issues, I bought “that divorce busting book.” (yes, she found out about it at one point but hasn’t read it).
She said that she never thought OR would come to this. I asked her what “this” is, and she said, “A crossroads.”
