Forgive me for not taking this advice. I TRULY appreciate your words to me, I hope you know that.
The problem is that this has never been about the OM for me, as SS says. She reminded me of what I have always believed in during all this. My marriage issues are a LOT more about other things than the OM.
I am not stupid, or in denial, I just choose to see things a different way.
Shippd, the main issue I have with what you are saying is not really what you are saying at all, it's what you're NOT saying. What you're NOT saying is the problem. So what if she does say she talked to OM? Actually, call me niéve but I think my W would answer my question honestly. She seems to have had no problem being honest when asked about OM in the past, why start now?
Like I said, what you were NOT saying what I do if she says she is in contact with him? Then what? I leave? I blow up? I scream and yell? I forbid her from doing it again?
I have never been about any of that since I began DBing. I have never been about forcing the issue with the OM, or really even paying it much attention at all. Why start now?
So, I am not going to do any of those things. I can tell you that no matter what, my sitch is 1000% better than it was a few months ago and while I KNOW I need to talk to my W soon about US unless things change for the better, I am going to do my damned to keep it about US and not him.
The fact of the matter is, shippd, I DON'T trust my W yet and she will have to earn that trust and last nigh/today does not help that, but then again, I don't really like MY actions either.
I don't want to beat around the bush shippd, but neither do I want to go off half-cocked into a conversation that I am not ready to have just because I snooped and THINK I know something. BTW, like you said, what's the point since she very well COULD lie.
I am comfortable enough with how I am living my life that I don't need my W to hold my hand right now and tell me everything's going to be alright. I KNOW everything is going to be alright.
I have proven that I will have the conversations I need to have, when (or slightly after, lol) I need to have them. This time is no different.
While I am confident NOW, it's taken YOUR posts to me, and those of a few others like Amy, SS and muddle, to get me to see the right way, or at least MY right way. I cannot thank you enough.
