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I had to go into her car, into her purse and under some stuff to get to it.

That's not just snooping, that's diggin' fer dirt!
FWIW, I think we all get to a point in a stagnant or limbo R that we want to make something happen, good or bad, so at least we have something to deal with. You've said it was easier when you had something to rally against, I agree. Look at this as the 'lucky break' you need to step up and zoom in again to clear up a fuzzy picture.
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I may have to have that talk with her tonight because I can't let this simmer.

24 hour rule? cool off period?

Live your life while you are still living.
Riding the trail less traveled.