Be strong and change your behavior, your feelings will follow. I am trying to leave my crutches behind and walk on my own. I was very confused just a couple of days ago but right at my darkest hour things turned good. Have faith and hope and the good things will happen. The last time you were at the bottom things improved right? It will happen again. You have to believe that. I do, and last night my sitch turned for the better. My W and I got into an OR talk two days ago and she asked me why I was unhappy. I told her that it hurt me that she didn't reciprocate my ILY. She said she was trying and to be patient. Fair enough, I thought. I told her what I needed but she wasn't ready to give it. I said that is okay but that is what is holding me back. We spent the day together yesterday and then last night at bedtime she finally said ILY. It wasn't in response to my ILY, it was on her own. She also asked me to be her very best friend forever. I agreed to that. We had lost out friendship awhile back and she started looking for friendship elsewhere. We obviously are not "fixed" because of this breakthrough but we are on a new and higher level. Friends are there for one another and support each other through all. I think we can do that. I will continue to work on my acceptance and I hope she will continue to work on her honesty.
My work has suffered for 6 months because of my sitch so I am officially retiring today to focus on that. I am not a very good DBer and know there are far wiser people on this BB than me so the good advice will continue. In closing I want to leave a few ideas:
1) Acceptance is huge (of life, our sitch, our SO) 2) Don't be a doormat 3) Be their friend 4) Tell them your feelings and needs (when they "come back" 5) Be their boy/girlfriend (look good, seduce, have fun) 6) Be far more patient than me 7) Don't get complacent once they come back
You all have taught me a lot about life. I now feel like God put me through this to teach me some life lessons. I feel more balanced and wise now because of this. I feel my family is very precious and I won't repeat history and put that in limbo. I realize doing this is jinxing me but I am not worried about it. I have faith.
