Quote: Just as I have a hard time trusting him, he may not trust me either. He may not trust that the new person I am learning to become is for real. He has all kinds of issues he needs to deal with on his own, on his own time table.
A BIG Amen to that. Actually, I think if it's possible, my W trust me LESS than I trust her right now. She's back and I think she's really afraid of what she's gotten herself into. She does NOT trust what she sees. I think SHE believes nothing I say and only 1/2 of what I do, lol.
Quote: I am learning to break the pursuit cycle. I am an emotional pursuer who reduces my anxiety by sharing feelings and seeking close emotional contact. My H is an emotional distancer who reduces his anxiety by withdrawing. The more he withdraws, the more I pursue.
100% the same here although I think my W would LIKE to share with me but doesn't trust how I'll react. I used to be REALLY bad at listening and not trying to fix everything for her. I am better now but it may take time for her to really believe that. More nights like last night will help.
Quote: I accuse him of being cold and unresponsive then he accuses me of being hysterical and controlling.
We never get so far as to actually accuse each other but I know from R talks in the recent past that this is how we each feel about the other.
