Yesterday afternoon W was in a mood over a convo with her mom earlier in the day. She pulled out of it and actually we had a good, fun evening. I had a lot of work to do but helped W with some things around the house in between, some at her request, and some on my own, which I know she really appreciates. In turn, she was really supportive and encouraging with my album design I was working on, something she usually isn't. It's not that she isn't supportive, it's just that I think she equates my computer work with my being gone, or at least absent even though I am home. To be clear about it, I work at least 40 hours a week at the "day job" then I am gone several more hours during the week in meetings and delivering products to my brides, then many weekends I am gone 8-12 hours a day shooting weddings. I have cut back, but it's still a source of stress between us.
SO, the fact that she was cheery and encouraging me to do my work was a nice change, I THINK brought on by me being more "there" earlier in the evening and REALLY helping her, not just paying lip service to it. Again, our night together was really good.
Then she talked to her mom again. I could hear a lot of the convo and it was a lot about my W saying she didn't like the schools where we live and that someday we may move, either in state, or out of state to get to better schools. I guess her mom didn't like that idea. They were not arguing, and really, there was a lot of laughter from my W so I didn't think things were going badly.
At one point my W started talking about us for some reason, telling her mom how well we got along and how good things were in our marriage...um...ok... Then she talked about me and I guess was talking in the context of if we ever moved to England. She was saying how experienced I was and how much talent I have for a lot of different things. She was really talking me up big time. I don't know if her mom was talking me down or what, but for whatever reason, it seemed important to my W to talk up our marriage and me to her.
This convo went on for hours. Finally, I had to go to bed. When W came to bed, she was trying to hide the fact that she was crying. I didn't make an issue of it. In the past, I realized that I would have actually gotten angry at her being upset, wanting to fix it and attack whatever made her upset. This time I simply hugged her, stroked her hair and helped her fall asleep. There were no words. That was a HUGE change from the past. I couldn't believe it. I was braced for a 2 hour convo (it was already 2:00am and I go to work at 6:00am) but it never happened. She settled into me and fell asleep in a few minutes.
I may ask her what happened, but I think it may be a good 180 if I don't bug her about it. I almost never just give her the opportunity to just open up to me. I always pry.
So going into the weekend, I am going to make a decision about the R talk (to have it or not) and then stick to that decision and give my brain a rest. This is an off-weekend for me so no work. We SHOULD be able to have a great time together. We usually do these days, it's just that ONE area that is lacking right now.
