GH, how long has it been since you and W had any type of serious R talk? I know that it is not what we are supposed to do, but sometimes I think, even if it is just for selfish reasons, we need to lay our feelings on the table. Your W is home with you, seemingly committed to the M, when do you get to sit down and lay the cards on the table? It seems like. the same frustrations keep coming back for you, maybe a little more intense each time.
I know that when my H and are are seemingly on the mend, (each time, ha ha) that I would get so upset over the same things you are, seems to be the case for many of us. I kept putting off the my needs your needs convo, and sometimes wonder if that would helped or hindered the progress we'd been making. Maybe, the non-sex intimacy your W has been looking for comes from open, heartfelt expressions of love and needs, hmmmm I guess I am saying communication.
We are the leaders, in a sense, becasue we have a lot more knowledge of these sitches than our spouses, we have been learning about ourselves and relationships and life. We have learned that by releasing control, we take control of our sitches, regardless of where they are. When do we get to release the control we hold over our OWN feelings? Granted there is a time and a place, but letting frustrations fester eventually breeds resentment, it's what our spouses did with us, it's why we became LBS's.
I may be totally off base, so this is just for what it's worth. It just seems to be that you have been holding back for months now, I don't think it's unfair of you to ask your W what she needs from you, and tell her your feelings.
