Of course there was little or no intimacy before the A happened and that is why it is all the more important now when you guys/gals are together. You see it was a sign of a problem before and you want to know that you have fixed that problem. Since there is still little intimacy you think that there is still a problem. Something you have to fix in order to move froward.
Now, lets look at it from a different perspective. When you first met your W, did she automatically become intimate with you on your first date? Chance are she was interested, but didn't show a lot of intimacy because she still didn't know who you were or what you were about. You did things back then to earn her intimacy. What were those things? They worked back then didn't they? Think maybe it's time to give those old tools a try and see if they still work?
The worst thing that could happen is that you are exactly where you are at now, right?
"Our life is what our thoughts make it."
Marcus Aurelius
