Quote: I think I need to step back and realize that before all this I didn't think the lack of intimacy was anything even to work on, let alone worry about. Damn, how stupid was I?
Before the A I was perfectly happy to go weeks, or months without intimacy. I had all kinds of reasons to not want it. Probably something I should really investigate like my not being good enough, insecurities from childhood, etc.
In any case it didn't bother me at all. It took my H stepping out of our marriage to wake me up. Boy did I take him for granted. I don't condone what he did and wish he would have just sat me down and told me how rejected and unfulfilled he felt, but I can't go back and change the past. Now is my chance (and yours) to become the person we were meant to be. It is going to take a lot of work (it took us years to get this way). If there is no pain, there will be no gain. Little by little our spouse's will become attracted to the new us and want us again. And when they do, look out cause there will be fireworks!!!
