GH, I am SO at the same place you are, frustrated and stagnant and not knowing if I should initiate an R talk or let this ride and let H deal with his issues while I concentrate on me. This has been going on for so many years that I am plum out of fresh ideas, and the old ones didn't work. Do we get another ticket and keep going on the merry-go-round?
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I guess in the end, I am not really torn. I need to DB MUCH better and THEN set my sights on whatever talk I think may help, if any. WAY too much "normal" life and not enough self-improvement going on these days.

Sounds easy, what are your ideas for "DB MUCH better" and self-improvement?

Live your life while you are still living.
Riding the trail less traveled.