Quote: I am growing more frustrated by my sitches lack of progress and oscillate between feeling I need to DO something and thinking I need to renew my commitment to DB and refocus on myself.
I realize, re-reading my post, that I present these as opposite, mutually exclusive options when in reality, DBing IS doing something, just something different.
What I meant to say was that I feel torn between initiating R talks and somehow forcing the issue or laying back, as my C recently suggested I do, and allowing time to do it's thing. Most of this inner conflict is caused by my lack of understanding about where my W's head and heart are right now and what, if anything she needs/wants ME to do to help her get back to "us". I think this is more of my "fixer" personality coming out and it's likely that my efforts to fix her are backfiring in some way. I know she can feel my frustration and I'm sure it doesn't feel good to her. My anger is back up again, taking the form of yelling at the kids and the occasional sarcastic remark to her (much less on both counts then before though).
I guess in the end, I am not really torn. I need to DB MUCH better and THEN set my sights on whatever talk I think may help, if any. WAY too much "normal" life and not enough self-improvement going on these days.
