This is probably just journalizing but I just feel strange today. I was on the phone w/ my W when she opened her e-mail today, she had 18 and she forwarded a few of the jokes and they were dated up to a week ago. She used to check them 10 times a day and spend hours replying. She used to get her nails done once a week, tanned 4 times a week and bought new clothes 3 times a week. She hasn't done any of the above in 2 months. I think it is a good thing but it seems so weird. Her current obsession is decorating and painting our house and that is it. It only concerns me because the drastic swing to the good could be reversed just as quickly. Has anyone seen a similar sitch? I am very appreciative of my current sitch but it still feels weird in how fast it turned. I feel like she is trying to prove something to me, which is good.
I don't dwell on this but it certainly has me intrigued. She still doesn't say ILY but her actions do. I don't know why she can't verbalize those three words. I will not ask her about it because I don't want to pressure her. It doesn't bother me anymore because I don't "need" her to say it like I used to. She is either afraid of getting hurt again, feels unworthy, or isn't fully recommitted. Whatever.
I wish I could understand why I feel so strange. Things are going very well but I just can't accept it all. My intuition says "look out ahead", but it doesn't scare me. I actually think it helps me keep my balance. I guess it will just take more time to get used to my W current state. I pray that her changes are as permanent as mine. Well that is what is flying around in my head today.
