Life is very good on my end. Yes, even better than a couple of days ago. We have a golf outing today, teach an engagement enrichment class tomorrow morning, taking the kids to an outdoor festival and celebrating the oldest S b-day on Sunday (8 years old). I am looking forward to all of it.
Yesterday, her "friend" came back to help us "texture" the walls. We all had a good time and he told my W that he and I have more in common than anyone else he knows. Yes, it still seems weird to most but not me. I think my W appreciates my security in that it doesn't bother me.
Rachel,
It was your b-day yesterday so I let you off the hook but today you will not be so lucky. STOP PURSUEING!!! That is DB rule #1. Stop initiating, stop asking him the same questions, stop worrying about his "contact" with her. Just stop it! You are trying to chase him away again. You seem to be using sex as a "test" of his fidelity. I think he feels that and doesn't like it. I certainly wouldn't. Don't ask him questions because he could just be lying when he answers you anyway. My W did and I think most do. The answers don't really mean anything. You obviously know that because you keep asking them. I am only "beating you up" because I did the same stuff and it hurt my progress. You are not focusing enough on yourself. That is the best way to not focus on him. In my eyes you are backsliding right now and have to change your behavior or it will continue.
One last thought. I think your H may have opened up and told you all of the things you wanted in your last C session for a reason. He meant them but he was secretly hoping it would make you back off. It is pure speculation but doesn't that make a lot of sense. He hates the pressure so he gave you every reason to back off and you didn't. If I am right, you failed his test, at least up until now. Lets assume I am right. What do you do now? BACK OFF! Don't lose the ground you have gained. His motorcycle trip will give you some room but start now anyway. Oh, don't expect immediate changes from him either. Give him time to see that you are genuinely backing off. Best of luck.
